Dear awesome new friends,
I was just going to say, you are out-of-this-world-amazing, and that is all. But decided not to be so off-handed about it, especially since you all know me as the one who can never stop at a few words :P
I’ve met almost all of you after making the move to a country that I knew nothing about. If you are still a part of my life, it is because you have enriched my experience of it in many ways. I need you to know that your presence is appreciated, and everyday, I learn so many new things thanks to you. About you, about myself, and about the world. I hope I add some value to your life too :)
I If we don’t talk enough, or seem to have fallen out, that sucks. But it’s the down side to changing personalities and, quite often, changing interests. I wish we weren’t drifting apart, and I wish things were different. Here’s hoping things will change!
Till we all make new memories again,
This was a post I had started a while ago, and never got around to finishing. Now is as better a time as any, with the publishing of my last post, to do it. So, here goes.
Every year, I ask myself this question, in terms of the previous year I had. But it’s not so I can make new resolutions on New Year’s (because we all know how that turns out). No, it’s something I do on my birthday, to judge for myself if I still like the person I’m becoming. And to set/edit a few goals/resolutions that help mould that person.
For a while, I’ve been in a reflective mood. Trying to evaluate if I was going on the right path with my life. I generally do this around the time I think I need to evaluate/re-evaluate my goals/resolutions. Then I realised, I didn’t care if it was ‘right’. What I really cared about was if it was the path that made me a happy person or not.
What made me actually finish this piece of writing was when I was talking to someone very close to me, and she said that she was amazed at the person I’d become. That I’d changed, and yet I still remained the same. How did that work?
When I was evaluating that statement, I realised what it was. I had begun to heal from the old, not so complete version of myself. I was more confident. I was more open about what I had to say. And, as per my best friend, I was “becoming more of a woman”. Yes, he actually says things like that to me :)
Am I the best version of myself that I can ever be? No. But I’m definitely on the path to being it. And I like the way I’m going.
I have finally realised that my path to progressing towards being the person I want to be is not dependent on what people around me think. It matters more as to what I think, and whether I am willing to go to whatever lengths for it.
Something tells me I am.
Note: I’ve been good in following the age old advice of ‘don’t talk to strangers’, but yeah. At some point in your life, you’ve got to right? How else would you make more friends? But writing a letter to someone you’ve never met…Hmm, interesting, to say the least!
When this said ‘Dear stranger’, I was stumped for a bit. What do you say to a person you don’t know?
The only reason you are a stranger to me is because I haven’t met you yet! I have too many people who can vouch for the fact that I don’t ever really shut up. So, I’m pretty certain once we meet, I’ll chatter away quite happily about anything under the sun!
I want you to know that I will always be there when you need a friend. Whether we talk everyday, or we go months on end without a word, I will be there when you need a listening ear and a comforting shoulder. Also, if you need to be told to grow a pair, I’ll do that too :P
I also want you to know that if I include you in different parts of my life, it’s because I want to. I want you to meet the other wonderful people in my life, and get to know the things that make me happy too. You’re more than welcome to say ‘no, thanks’ and walk away. I won’t hold it against you :)
I just ask for one thing. Just because I’m nice, doesn’t mean you can walk all over me. I have a good heart, but get on the wrong side of it, and you’ll just lose out on a stellar personality in your life. I know that sounds presumptuous, but it isn’t, really! It’s just building off of a belief that I have that if I don’t believe I’m amazing, no one else will.
Here’s to meeting you soon!
Note: I didn’t know what to write for a while, then I decided to wing it. I’m writing to the world as a person, as a whole, as an entity. Hope this makes sense!
I have experienced parts of you, for the past twenty-something years of my existence. I’ve seen wondrous things everywhere I’ve been, but…I want to see you, all of you, bared to your very soul. I want to know everything about you – your wondrous hidden beauty, your imperfectly perfect flaws, your but more than the bad and ugly, I’d like to see the good. Not because I won’t love you still, but I’d probably learn to appreciate you a lot more then.
I want to know that there is a reason to believe in good things still existing in you, because only you can give me that. I try to see the good in every little thing, no matter how messed up. But, with everyday goings-on, I see a fading in that belief, because you only rear the unflattering side of yours. I believe you can be much better than this. Please, don’t prove me wrong.
I am, but a small part of you. I don’t have too many fancy things in and around my life to make me better than most. I work hard to prove myself, and I always will. I don’t see myself as above you, and I never will. I believe we share an existence so I can make a difference to the lives of other people you share an existence with.
That, is my purpose. That, is my wish.
Dear hopes and dreams,
It feels good to have you out of the back corner of my brain and tangibly present everywhere. Most importantly, in my heart. I know I put you on the back burner for a while, when I began putting other people’s versions of you first. It wasn’t fair to you and I’m sorry.
But today, when I realise my 30 before 30 list has a focus on you, and that I think about you often enough, I feel better. To know that my hope of spreading the joy I get with my writing is slowly and surely coming true, to know that my dream for travel and wanderlust still survives all it’s faced, to know that my hope and dream for more love in this world was not foolishly misplaced…makes me feel wonderfully happy, and fills me with content.
When I look back, I realise I have always held out my candle to you to bring me back from the darkness that sometimes took over my life. When I felt that all was lost, it was your light that told me it wasn’t. When I almost gave up on the very things I believed in, you showed me exactly why I shouldn’t. For that, and for giving me a reason to hold on and move ahead, I am, and always will be, thankful.
There is just one more addition to the three of you that exist – my hope and dream to find a love that will love me back, with all my shortcomings…with all my flaws…and all my mistakes. Because they are what make me a human, and what make the person who I am, so real. Things that can be changed and need to be will be, but there is an essence to my soul that needs to be loved. As hard (or possibly impossible) as this is to find, there’s nothing like a little hope to keep you going, right?
This, I add to your family. This, I add to my life. This, I add to my hopes and dreams.