Day 7 — Dear hopes and dreams

Dear hopes and dreams,

It feels good to have you out of the back corner of my brain and tangibly present everywhere. Most importantly, in my heart. I know I put you on the back burner for a while, when I began putting other people’s versions of you first. It wasn’t fair to you and I’m sorry.

But today, when I realise my 30 before 30 list has a focus on you, and that I think about you often enough, I feel better. To know that my hope of spreading the joy I get with my writing is slowly and surely coming true, to know that my dream for travel and wanderlust still survives all it’s faced, to know that my hope and dream for more love in this world was not foolishly misplaced…makes me feel wonderfully happy, and fills me with content.

When I look back, I realise I have always held out my candle to you to bring me back from the darkness that sometimes took over my life. When I felt that all was lost, it was your light that told me it wasn’t. When I almost gave up on the very things I believed in, you showed me exactly why I shouldn’t. For that, and for giving me a reason to hold on and move ahead, I am, and always will be, thankful.

There is just one more addition to the three of you that exist – my hope and dream to find a love that will love me back, with all my shortcomings…with all my flaws…and all my mistakes. Because they are what make me a human, and what make the person who I am, so real. Things that can be changed and need to be will be, but there is an essence to my soul that needs to be loved. As hard (or possibly impossible) as this is to find, there’s nothing like a little hope to keep you going, right?

This, I add to your family. This, I add to my life. This, I add to my hopes and dreams.

Love always,

Me

<3

30 before 30? Here’s hoping!

Bucket lists are an awesome concept. They give you a sort of push towards doing more things in life. But most people see themselves as too young to make a bucket list. And before you know it, life passes them by. I always wanted to do the bucket list thing after watching the movie of the same name, but figured as life goes on, my age may be a barrier to some things. Or sometimes some other factor (family, life in general, who knows…). So I figured, why not make a list for every 10-year milestone? After all, you never know which milestone may just be your last…(yes, slightly morbid, but realistic too). And that’s how this list was born.

I’m taking a big step with this. But I’ve been thinking, why not make an actual commitment out of the fact that I want to do 30 things before I turn 30? And not just things that are life goals…but things that make me genuinely happy. If it’s on here, I may actually get around to doing it all, hopefully.

I made this list before I turned 21(way back in October 2010), and as I did, the first thing on the list got crossed off. So through time since then, I’ve been trying to cross of some more things. Here’s the way the list stands today!

My 30 before 30 list (Part 1):

1. Get a tattoo. I actually got two! So far, I’m sticking to those many.

My tattoos <3

My tattoos <3

2. Get a dog.

3. Learn to play the guitar. At least one song, if not more.

4. Learn to cook, properly! It is a continuous process, but it has happened. And I love it!

My attempt at pretty chocolate cupcakes!

My attempt at pretty chocolate cupcakes!

5. Visit Goa at least once. It deserves another proper visit, but once has happened. And it was divine :)

6. Experience and explore India. A land of wonders, there are places I still have to discover within it.

7. Go to Australia for my Masters. Already done with a whole year of it!

Story bridge. Rather iconic, and heartwarmingly beautiful.

Heartwarmingly beautiful.

What I see on my walks everyday through the street mall!

What I see on my walks everyday
             through the street mall!

My uni, where I've met some of the best people of my life.

My uni, where I’ve met some of
           the best people of my life.

8. Learn sign language properly. I know the basic two-handed alphabet of BSL. I’d like to learn more.

9. Go on a long trip/backpacking, with friends/alone (at least a couple of weeks). I’m hoping it’s at one of the foreign land locations!

10. Go to a live concert. David Guetta was definitely a great first concert to go to. But hands down, Coldplay was divine, and has made me infinitely happy!

Creamfields 2012, when the crowd was arriving.

Creamfields 2012, when the crowd was arriving.

David Guetta. Standing on his console, like a boss!

David Guetta. Standing on his console, like a boss!

Coldplay at Suncorp Stadium. Yeah baby <3

Coldplay at Suncorp Stadium. Yeah baby <3

11. Learn Spanish. It has always been a language that I have loved. And, I’m glad to say, I have finally begun with the learning!

12. Learn another foreign language. Maybe Italian, or Chinese even.

13. Read at least 50 novels, more if time permits. It shouldn’t be a point here, but then again…it should. My love for reading needs to be kept alive, and I always want to have a response to the statement ‘So, what are you reading right now?’

14. Do more discovering. About myself, people, places and cuisines. Just trying to find something new every month. I’ve realized that I love doing this, and it’s something absolutely wonderful to do. It gives me such happiness, and I try discovering things about all four things every month =)

15. Get out of my comfort zone, in as many ways as possible. Whether it’s the food that I usually eat, the drinks that I drink, the kind of people I make friends with, the way I feel about love, taking a risk and dating someone I’m scared of taking it to the next level with, or a blind date…Everything needs to be experimented with and explored. Something new may just surprise me, and work!

Continued…

2012, it’s been a pleasure (somewhat)!

I’ve always read things like this. And never realised how much you can learn when you put your thoughts to paper (or in this case, a virtual note). Until 2012. This past year, I got back to writing, with a renewed passion. It’s not like I had stopped before, I just wasn’t motivated enough to write as much. But I did, and I’m glad about that.
Have you wondered what it would be like, to have a whole year be something you never, ever expected it to be? I always did, until 2012 came along. Boy, what a year it has been!

It’s been a year of many firsts.
I left home for the first time. And that wasn’t easy, especially coming from a background that prefers to keep “their own” a little too close. But my parents knew it was important to me, to break away, and they let me go and find my way.
I lived by myself for the first time. Being a twenty-something, I’ve wanted to experience a home of my own – away from family. I wanted to be able to discover myself. And moving to a place where I knew no one helped me do that.
I made friends with people from at least 10 different countries, for the first time. And some wonderful ones, at that. Learning about different cultures, and different ways of life, has been a divine experience. It made me realise that my hope…no, my dream, is to travel. Not just around the world. But, through stories. Through cultures. Through experiences. Through life.
I created, and stuck to creating, a blog – for the first time. It’s what made me realise how much I’d been missing writing. And how much I wanted to keep writing. It was like reconnecting with a part of my soul I didn’t know I had lost touch with. It also made me realise, I had an outlet of sorts. To hopefully never, ever lose that part of my soul again.

It’s also been a year of many life lessons…
I learnt that no matter what, there are some people I can’t win over. And that’s okay. What matters is that I tried. Friends, acquaintances or family, no one should point a finger at you and say that you never made an effort to make good with them.
I learnt what dating could feel like, outside my comfort zone. I went on dates with people who I wasn’t in a relationship with, and it was refreshing. It also becomes a part of your soul-searching, because you understand how you feel about relationships in general.
I learnt that it was okay to let people in, especially those who make an effort to come in. It allows you to let some amazing souls in your life. You make an effort to make sure the walls stay up, but these people will break them down, because they care enough to.
I learnt that people who were close to me can, and possibly will, leave. And I can’t change that, no matter how much I try. It’s a way of life. People come, people go. The ones that really care, will do whatever it takes to stay. And the ones that leave, probably have no reason to stay anymore.

And the most important thing 2012 has taught me is:
I learnt that if I didn’t believe myself that I was amazing, no one else really had a reason to believe it either. Why would they? You need to believe you are a gift in everyone’s lives, and they’re lucky to have/know you. Because you don’t need yourself to bring you down, there will be people to try that anyway. It’s the way of the universe.

It’s what life is about – firsts, experiences, milestones and memories. So here’s to life. And here’s to letting 2013 try to top 2012! Bring it on!

<3