My apologies, once again, for being AWOL for a bit. I’ve been busy with the arrival of my best friend from my teen years in Dubai. We’ve never been in the same country, let alone in the same city, for a good 6/7 years of our 11 year friendship. So I didn’t want to cut into my time for her, whatever little we could spend together!
Through the past few days, I have come to realise that I’d forgotten so much of what made me the person I was, and the person I am today. I’ve had nostalgic trips down memory lane, when I found some of my old poems while rummaging through a drawer. They reminded me how much I loved rhyming when I was younger, as silly as my rhymes were. They were the reason I began discovering more about putting my feelings to paper, the reason I decided to explore my connection with writing further. A friend (and, I am happy and proud to say, a follower of my work) has asked me to put them up, and I will – soon enough!
Some not-very-pretty memories have come up in the past few days as well – things that made me realise I never wanted to go back to some points in my life. They were dark, they were depressing, and I wouldn’t wish those times on even my worst enemy, if I had one. But, what mattered was that I’d made it through it all – stronger, happier, and surprisingly, much less scarred than I’d imagined. And of course, I discovered and rediscovered my writing. And for that, I’m thankful for the memories.
Note: I didn’t know what to write for a while, then I decided to wing it. I’m writing to the world as a person, as a whole, as an entity. Hope this makes sense!
I have experienced parts of you, for the past twenty-something years of my existence. I’ve seen wondrous things everywhere I’ve been, but…I want to see you, all of you, bared to your very soul. I want to know everything about you – your wondrous hidden beauty, your imperfectly perfect flaws, your but more than the bad and ugly, I’d like to see the good. Not because I won’t love you still, but I’d probably learn to appreciate you a lot more then.
I want to know that there is a reason to believe in good things still existing in you, because only you can give me that. I try to see the good in every little thing, no matter how messed up. But, with everyday goings-on, I see a fading in that belief, because you only rear the unflattering side of yours. I believe you can be much better than this. Please, don’t prove me wrong.
I am, but a small part of you. I don’t have too many fancy things in and around my life to make me better than most. I work hard to prove myself, and I always will. I don’t see myself as above you, and I never will. I believe we share an existence so I can make a difference to the lives of other people you share an existence with.
That, is my purpose. That, is my wish.