2013, you’ve been…interesting?

So, last year, I summed up my 2012 with a similar note to this. And I said I was going to let 2013 top 2012. The real question here, of course, is did it top the year I had prior? Well, in some ways it did, and in others it didn’t.

The double Masters of Business that I moved to Australia for was completed successfully. Dealing with the change from a single to a double major was a big deal in itself. And being one of the first few of the family to have a proper graduation was pretty awesome, for them and a whole bunch of my friends too!

Speaking of graduation, my grand mom was super proud that I had made it, and even more so that she could see it in person. Yes, she undertook the long journey to come here from India with mum,and that meant a lot. Not having my whole family here was a bit heart-breaking,but oh well, you win some, you lose some, hey? Something that happens way more than I’d like, the whole family being in different places, but…I’m glad the two women who’ve stood by me through a lot of my life’s education drama could be there to share this with me!

I crossed off a couple of things from my ‘30 before 30 list’. I bought myself my first self-funded Apple product, and finished the double Masters in a foreign country – Australia.

I saw two of my favourite bands live in concert, with people that mattered. First, The Script and then, OneRepublic. I genuinely loved the music they put out as bands, and the people that made these bands amazed me as well. But to see both of them live, oh what an experience that was!

I lived with a roommate for the first time, and love it! Yes, last year, I lived by myself for the first time. I decided to take it a step up from there and live with a childhood friend of mine as a roommate. Best decision we made really! It teaches you to be a bit more social, bit more accepting, and also, how you genuinely feel about having someonearound more often than not, and how you deal with social situations I guess. And in the process, I have a woman around that I can always count on, for good advice, good company and good conversations.

I re-learnt the hard way this year that people who were close to me can, and possibly will, leave…or sometimes, just step away. And the sad thing that I learnt this time around is, you can try as much as you want, if they don’t see their place in your life as prime as you do,there really is no way to get them to stay there.

I learnt that life has a way of throwing things your way that you least expect. Sometimes good, sometimes bad and sometimes things that just make you go, “Like seriously, what is wrong with you, life?” And all you can do is go at it – chin up, head high and expect the best, while preparing for the worst. A part of me wishes this wasn’t so, but the other part of me realises that if it wasn’t for the not so great, I wouldn’t appreciate the awesome, amazing and beautiful things that happen.

And to round this off, reflecting on the final life-lesson of 2012 of believing I was amazing myself, I’ve come to realise that that was definitely a good belief to start ingraining in myself. At the end of 2013, I’ve had numerous people tell me how wonderful they perceived me to be, that I’m slowly but surely coming to believe in it myself. I have a way to go, but I’m glad I’ve started this journey.

Has 2013 been the amazing year I thought it would be? Not particularly. But has it been worse than 2012? No. What it has been is an average year. And I guess I could count myself as lucky for not having to deal with a horrible year instead of an uninspiring one? 2014, let’s see what you’ve got. Maybe big things are to happen with you? I look forward to finding out!

<3

Day 16 — Dear ex-boyfriends ~ Yes, plural. Deal with it! :P

Dear ex-boyfriends,

I wasn’t sure how I felt about this letter when I saw the title, or even if I should be writing this in the first place. But, I figured I should. If I can’t, it’s only going to hold me back, and that is something I definitely do not want. I chose to put you guys in one letter because it just seemed apt and, also because, it isn’t fair to be only writing to one of you =)

K, you were the first boy I called my ‘boyfriend’. The first one I kissed, the first that took my breath away with said kisses. You taught me what it was to see past the things people hid behind, to discover the real gem of someone’s soul. We had our ups and downs, and though I admit some of it could have been handled with a little bit more dignity, we made it through it all. We didn’t realise the stress we were dealing with all around, and thought it was what came with the territory of being teenagers. Whatever we faced, we faced it strong. And I think our relationship started shaping the person I was to be.
When I look back on what we had, I still smile. Because we had a lot of memories back then. At the end of it all though, we were young, we were naive, and we were, quite possibly, in love. I say ‘quite possibly’ because I feel the idea of love entranced us a lot more back then, and I say this in the nicest way possible. I gave it my all, but my heart was still learning to deal with all the emotions thrown its way.
What makes me happy though, is to see how far you’ve come. How far we’ve both come, in fact. You’ve been there through some milestones in my life. And vice versa. And as I said to you before this year began, I’m thankful we’ve gotten back in touch with each other over the years. Feels good to know we’ve matured enough to be nice to each other. Thank you for being all you have.

E. Oh, what do I say to you? You started out as one of my amazing friends, and then became so much more. What I loved about our relationship was that, the most. The fact that, as friends, we could talk about anything under the sun. And then, as lovers, some more. You encouraged my strengths, which helped you develop yours too. We went through the changes of being 18+ years and in love. And having our hearts broken because of the way things ‘were supposed to be’. And rebuilt, and broken again.
I won’t rehash the past, because so many good things came from our relationship. Amazing friends, great memories, and inexplicable bonds. And in a strange way, if not for you, I don’t think I would have realised I was meant to fall in love with the city I live in. So I’m grateful for that.
What I regret is this past year taking a toll on our once-solid friendship. You said ‘things change, people change’. I tried so hard for that not to be true for us. But somewhere, I think we both sort of took a step back, and another, and another…until we were safely far enough to not be affected. And somewhere, I stopped trying. Not because I didn’t care, but because I was tired of being the one who had to try.
In saying that, I hope things start to look up, for you and maybe, for our friendship. I also hope that whatever it is that life throws your way, you handle well and come out stronger. You’re capable of it, of reaching out to your dreams. You just need to see it. I loved you, and I still hope for the friend I had before all this. I can only hope that friend is still there somewhere, not for my sake, but for the lives you will touch.

You’ve both been there at different points in my life, to teach me different lessons. To help me experience life through your eyes. To let me have people to call mine. Thank you for helping me grow. Thank you both, thank you for the memories.

Love,

Me

<3