Dear hopes and dreams,
It feels good to have you out of the back corner of my brain and tangibly present everywhere. Most importantly, in my heart. I know I put you on the back burner for a while, when I began putting other people’s versions of you first. It wasn’t fair to you and I’m sorry.
But today, when I realise my 30 before 30 list has a focus on you, and that I think about you often enough, I feel better. To know that my hope of spreading the joy I get with my writing is slowly and surely coming true, to know that my dream for travel and wanderlust still survives all it’s faced, to know that my hope and dream for more love in this world was not foolishly misplaced…makes me feel wonderfully happy, and fills me with content.
When I look back, I realise I have always held out my candle to you to bring me back from the darkness that sometimes took over my life. When I felt that all was lost, it was your light that told me it wasn’t. When I almost gave up on the very things I believed in, you showed me exactly why I shouldn’t. For that, and for giving me a reason to hold on and move ahead, I am, and always will be, thankful.
There is just one more addition to the three of you that exist – my hope and dream to find a love that will love me back, with all my shortcomings…with all my flaws…and all my mistakes. Because they are what make me a human, and what make the person who I am, so real. Things that can be changed and need to be will be, but there is an essence to my soul that needs to be loved. As hard (or possibly impossible) as this is to find, there’s nothing like a little hope to keep you going, right?
This, I add to your family. This, I add to my life. This, I add to my hopes and dreams.
Note: I have a few friends that are incredibly close to my heart. With a couple of of them, we may not call each other best friends, but that’s what we are. And with a few others, we are just kindred spirits that found each other. And presumably, hopefully, will never let each other go. I cannot imagine what it’d be like, without them. These are people who, if and when they read this, will know who they are!
P.S. Sorry for the length, this was a lengthy one to write :P
Dear closest friends,
You lot are a wonderful lot. After all my years of putting up walls, I’ve realised you all are the ones that will constantly break through them. And even on days I’m not feeling up to letting you in, I know you will be waiting patiently on the other side. Just because you care.
Firstly, ladies. When I sat to write this, I realised that there were only three women that I could consider as my closest after A. And I am okay with that. I’d go to the moon and back if I could just have you in my life! Each of you has been a part of different parts of my life, and continue to be in it. And make it a happier place.
To start with, the lovely R. You’ve been there through my growing years in high school. You taught me about many things – life, relationships and friendships too. If it wasn’t for you, break would have been rather lame in school :) The fact that we can have grown up conversations today is testament to our friendship!
Next, my PYT – yep, my very own Pretty Young Thing. You, my little ball of energy, have been showering my life with all things happy, ever since undergrad. Or, even more so, since we met the ‘Cold Man’ :) You’ve taught me what it meant to laugh through my tears. To live life my own way. To say whatever is on my mind, and maybe in my heart. And to forgive or forget, whichever comes first. For everything, I thank you. Know I will always be there for you, no matter where I am in this world. You are an inseparable part of my soul. And I hope you know the important place you hold in my life. Always and Forever.
Coming about to my gorgeous S. Oh, you have no idea what it means to me to have a strong friendship going between us. Who knew, we’d come this far, after growing up together in diapers? It’s not something either of us had foreseen, but our time together in Australia has made me realise that if there was a friendship I would regret not holding on to, or working on, it would have been this one. I’m so glad we didn’t let each other go. You have helped me grow into the person I am today, and you’ve seen me change through the past year. You’ve told me how proud you are of the woman I have become, and that is a symbol of why I cherish you so much. You voice your opinions, and you’ve stood up to be true to yourself. I truly admire you, and I’m going to hope against all hopes to keep you close (geographically and otherwise).
Secondly, the men. Oh, I am blessed to know some wonderful, delightful men in my life. But there are some who hold a preciously close place to my heart. This is for you.
To kick things off, R and S. From the times we started hanging out midway through undergrad, until now. You boys – or rather, men – have only brought a whole bunch of smiles into my life. R, your jokes have always taken the cake for me! And S, gossiping with you is so much more fun than with anyone else! And today, when I talk to you both about our futures, our dreams and our ambitions, I realise how we’ve grown through time. And how, no matter what, we will find a way to laugh at situations. Because, if you can’t laugh in life, is it really worth the trouble? :)
To R (the other one) and L, the two wonderful men I’ve come across in my short time in Australia. I cannot stress how thankful I am for having you all in my life. R, you have completely turned around the way I think. And in the best way possible. You’ve taught me to think different, and challenged me to push myself further. I’ve been striving for more, because I believe I can. That belief has been born because of our endless conversations. And the fact that we can still have those conversations, whenever we each have the time, is a huge thing I’m grateful for every day. Thank you for being you, and for being in my life! Turning to you, L, I simply CANNOT get over the fact that I’ve known you for just 5 months (as of yesterday), and it feels like I’ve known you all my life. I can talk about anything under the sun with you, from the real, hard to get through stuff of life, to the silly things (that possibly make you question your conversations with me sometimes, hey!). I can be a total child with you, and I know you won’t judge me. Because as you say, we are both awesome, and we are both weird. So, we shall be awesomely weird in life together! Thank you for accepting me through my strangest moods and ramblings. I cannot imagine what it’d have been like, not having you in my life :)
I’d generally have stopped there, but there are some men who I could not afford to lose, and hence deserve a special mention. We may not talk often, or about too much, but when we do, it brings a happiness into my life that I cannot ignore.
To my Squishy ^_^ Our Skype, text/Whatsapp, phone and Facebook conversations have been some of the best things about some of my days in Brissy :) The randomness, the irrelevant arguments, and how we are married on Facebook are all a source of such delight for me! Thank you ‘hubby’, for being so amazing :) No matter what, you will always be my Squishy!!!
To Monsieur SF. I almost called you what I always do, but realised it’d be a no-brainer for people to figure out who you are :) Thank you for delighting me with some intriguing conversations. Thank you for being some of the best company I’ve had, for roaming through the streets or sitting on a bench, eating sushi and talking coffee ;) And your knowledge about my country is an absolute joy! Always be in my life, okay? And also, always give awesome hugs!
To B. You have made me learn to love myself a little more You have opened my mind (and my heart, a bit too) about the possibilities of life and all it has to offer. You have helped me be more appreciative, and for this, I will forever be thankful. Thank you for being such an amazing friend, and someone I can talk to about random things :)
Lastly, to the man who calls me his muse. F, it has been you who has made me smile – nay, blush – often times, with your random text messages, scribbles and the way you look at me. I adore you, and you cannot believe it I’m sure, but you’re are one of the most amazing people I know. And with the wonderful words you always have for me, I worry at times I may disappoint you. You have me on a pedestal; but if I fall, I’m pretty sure you’ll catch me. I absolutely cherish you mister!
Well folks who read to the end, thank you for your patience. And you people I mentioned, know you are the best people in the world. And know that you are, and always will be, cherished parts of someone’s life – mine.