The masterpiece.

Ever so often, when they looked at me, spoke about me, or to me, they likened me to a masterpiece; my beautiful soul and the person I was, “an absolute work of art,” they said. It was on one of my darker days that I mistakenly reflected on what this could imply, and I came to a crushing realisation. They were comparing me to expensive art. Art to be admired, revered and adored. But never to be acquired. The ones that would choose to take possession of this kind of wondrous creation would know exactly what it was worth, but would keep this knowledge and the creation itself hidden – so it could never be damaged, or coveted.

I didn’t want to be a masterpiece. I wanted to be someone’s intricate jigsaw, to be finished piece by painstaking piece. When the picture would be completed, there would be a sense of pride towards me. I would be proudly displayed, for their entire world to see, rather than framed away under lock and key.

I didn’t want to be a masterpiece. I wanted to be a lovingly knit jumper; the result of someone’s focused labour. The very fibre of my soul would weave seamlessly with theirs, blending moments and memories to wrap us in the warmth of the lives we shared.

I didn’t want to be a masterpiece. I wanted to be someone’s meticulous needlepoint. As much as they’d have to strain to get things just right, and as much as they could get pricked on occasion, they would persevere because they knew the end result was worth it. I wanted to be worth that effort.

I didn’t want to be a masterpiece. Unless it was to that soul that believed my perceived outward beauty was only enhanced by the love that overflowed from my soul to flood the lives of those around me.

I didn’t want to be a masterpiece. Unless it was to the artist that understood why I existed, and loved me for it.

I didn’t want to be a masterpiece.



Strings For Ammo – Music for your heart

I’ve always felt writing about anything that matters to me is a way of putting it out in the universe that there is this ‘something’ that has made a difference in my life. Which is why I write on this blog too. There are so many of you who tell me that you feel exactly the same as I do about many things, which – of course – is what any writer loves to hear. But that aside, I just wish to express the emotion I feel with things.

Music is something that everyone connects to in different ways. For me, it helps me put life into perspective sometimes, or sometimes just sets the stage right for the emotions I’m feeling. Today, through this post, I want to tell you about this wonderful local band that I have had the privilege and pleasure of getting to know. I didn’t need to write this post. But I wanted to. Why? Because there are few things in life that you can be sure of, and the joy that Strings For Ammo has brought to me is one of those things. Steven Fothergill and Joe Murray are the two delightful souls that make this folk/rock Brisbane-based duo. They are not just in sync with each other, but are completely in tune with the people they are playing for.


Music for your heart

I moved to Brisbane back in February 2012. It took me a few months to adjust to this place, and one of the ways I did that was to wander about the city, earphones plugged in, disappearing into my own bubble as I took in the sights all around me. On days that got me down when I was missing the familiarity of home, I’d wander over to the shops to take my mind off of it.

On one such wander with the aim of getting groceries, I was at a set of lights waiting to cross the road. Out of habit, I take out my earphones at that corner because it always has a busker. It is my belief that the least I can do is respect the musician on the corner if I don’t have spare change to drop into their case. Anyway, back to my story. It was a cold day (mid-year, perhaps) and I was a bit melancholy for days because I missed home more than usual. Now, before I even took the earphones out, I was hit by a gust of happy. And I realised that it was the buskers on the corner that brought it along. I broke into the happiest of smiles I’d had in a while, and moved aside to let the world continue around me. There was magic to be witnessed, and I wasn’t budging till they took a break! When they did, I dropped all the spare change I had in the case, noted their name to find them on Facebook and tell them digitally of their brilliance. Strings For Ammo – that’s different! Excellent, I had a way to follow them on their adventures!

Cut to a year later, they happened to have a Pozible campaign posted on their page to help fund their new album. For those of you who don’t know, Pozible is very similar to Kickstarter, in that it is a way of getting crowd-funded, but it focuses on creative projects and ideas. So, I had a bit of money I could spare and decided that this would be a worthy cause. And then, life took over. I got busy with other things, and I just assumed that if I heard any developments about this, it’d be from Facebook, and that was that. I’d helped how I could, and I was happy J Little did I know that I was wrong!

2014-01-06 14.21.07There was a place I frequented with friends often, called the Beach House (which strangely, was just across the street where I first laid ears upon Strings For Ammo). We’d go there for the company, and stay for the ambience and sometimes, the music.

From late-August/early September, every Thursday, there was a pretty great duo playing there, and I made it a bit of a routine with my close friend to go there each week (it’s not stalking if you happen to be in the area!). As luck would have it, my birthday fell on a Thursday, so we were there on the day too. When my roommate told the band it was my birthday, Steven came up to wish me and gave me a demo of their CD as a gift. I looked at it and was spellbound – this was the same band! Strings For Ammo, I know them! Such a girly tizzy was had, after which I went up and told them I knew who they were and how great I thought they were and stuff (which, let me tell you, is a big deal for me. I can admire bands and talented people from afar, and write to them on an online platform, but talking to anyone face to face really intimidates me). In the break that followed, they both came and had a chat with me, which just cemented the great day I was having. And in that moment, I fell in love with the people they were.


The way they both talked about playing music for music’s sake, their joy was so evident, and contagious too. I could see how they lit up as I listened to them. They told me about their Northern English (Steve) and Irish (Joe) roots, and how they played gigs all around Brisbane, and about how well their new album was coming along. They had to go back on stage and play, they said, but told us to come see them play more often. Few days later, we decided to go to one of my favourite Brissy Irish haunts (O’Malley’s Irish Pub), and who should be the live act there but these guys. Again, on their break, they decided to come have a chat. They’d do this every time we were in, and I was overjoyed that they did. It’s when I started to know them.

Steve told me about his plans for what he wanted the band to be. And what I loved was the soul this man had. He wanted to make a difference, however big or small, to the world and those around him. He wanted to do it because he believes in the talent they possessed. And that is a rare thing nowadays. You more often than not see talented people giving in to the allure of the powerful, rather than deciding to work off their own merits and shortcomings. He dreams of giving a good life to his people back home. And he imagines the wonders of the band’s music touching more people than they ever imagined. Steve tells me about his plans and I ask him, “Can I write about you guys?” He says, “As long as you don’t curse us, go right ahead!”

Joe’s the quieter one, mostly because he tends to wander off during these conversations. But you can see the mischievous glint of happiness and a zest for life in his eyes when you do get a chance to chat to him. On one of our random sit-downs, I turned to him and said to him, “Joe, I always chat away to Steve, and know so much about him. Tell me something about you.” His first response? “I love to play, music makes me happy.” And when I asked him what his dreams were for the band, he only said this – to connect with the audience and give them something that makes them happy, if they didn’t feel that already.

In 2013, they made it to number 1 in the triple J Roots charts, and number 14 in the overall charts. It’s funny, I remember walking through an ABC shop with a friend last month, pointing to the triple J section and saying to him, “next month, Strings For Ammo’s ‘Leave your Judgement at the Door’ will be here, just you wait.” Every single the I went to see them play, I’d have a new friend with me who hadn’t witnessed who this band was that I keep talking about, and not one of them has been disappointed. Whether it’s been the covers of songs we lot, or their originals, they have a distinct tone that reaches you, no matter what! With the official launch of their album scheduled for the 23rd of this month (all you local people reading this should absolutely come support them!), their dreams are slowly and steadily on their way to becoming a reality. And I cannot think of any two musicians that deserve it more. I cannot wait for the day their names will be in lights and I can turn to people next to me and say, “I know those guys, they are amazing!”

I’m going to end my swooning over these amazing men and their musical talent here with this. John Lennon once said, “Listen, writing about music is like talking about f***ing. Who wants to talk about it? But you know, maybe some people do want to talk about it.” I don’t always write about music, as you can tell. I wrote about something that touched me, and made my heart happy. Something that I had a connection with. I wrote about them simply because I wanted more people to know Strings For Ammo.

And someday, I hope the world knows them.


Day 9 — Dear world

Note: I didn’t know what to write for a while, then I decided to wing it. I’m writing to the world as a person, as a whole, as an entity. Hope this makes sense!

Dear world,

I have experienced parts of you, for the past twenty-something years of my existence. I’ve seen wondrous things everywhere I’ve been, but…I want to see you, all of you, bared to your very soul. I want to know everything about you – your wondrous hidden beauty, your imperfectly perfect flaws, your  but more than the bad and ugly, I’d like to see the good. Not because I won’t love you still, but I’d probably learn to appreciate you a lot more then.

I want to know that there is a reason to believe in good things still existing in you, because only you can give me that. I try to see the good in every little thing, no matter how messed up. But, with everyday goings-on, I see a fading in that belief, because you only rear the unflattering side of yours. I believe you can be much better than this. Please, don’t prove me wrong.

I am, but a small part of you. I don’t have too many fancy things in and around my life to make me better than most. I work hard to prove myself, and I always will. I don’t see myself as above you, and I never will. I believe we share an existence so I can make a difference to the lives of other people you share an existence with.

That, is my purpose. That, is my wish.




Day 8 — Dear person I last kissed

Note: I had originally titled this a lot of different things. And then I realised, there’s so much I’d give away in the title, and I didn’t want to. So I changed it to it’s original title :)

Dear person I last kissed,

I’m going to start this by referring to my note above. That’s kind of how I feel about a kiss. There’s so much it can say, and so much that is left unsaid. All in the single moment (or several) of one kiss.

It was no different in our case either. We had a fiery chemistry growing, that built up to that crescendo of a moment that was a kiss. I felt I would probably melt with the warm glow that rose inside me when you kissed me. I had a knot in my stomach I hadn’t felt in a while, and it was a feeling I had forgotten, actually. A feeling that I loved recalling, to remember how wonderful it made me feel. I literally had no excuse to back away, and I kissed you back, because it felt like the most natural thing to do.

I knew I could have let myself want more in that moment. And who knows what might have been, if I hadn’t broken the magic that I believed surrounded us? But I did. And it wasn’t for anything else, but that the magic could’ve just been a figment of my imagination.

I want you to know, I don’t make it a habit of kissing people, especially people that mean a lot to me. But with you, there was no added drama; it felt right, then. Do I want to see if this goes somewhere? Why not :) Will I ask for it to…no. Because you, amongst other people, know that I have, and always will be, worried to ask :)

So, you kissed me. That hasn’t changed what we are to each other; how much we share; our bond. But you made me reconnect (albeit momentarily) with a world I’d forgotten about, and a small part of me probably resents that. Only because I liked it better when it was a distant memory, than a recent reality :)

Until we make more memories with our strengthening bond,

Much love,