Inner Turmoil

That haunting feeling…It’s the worst. When you know you are facing the calm before the storm. And there’s probably nothing you can do about it, than watch the horror unfold.

There are days when I just want to escape…to any place. Anywhere that I can scream my lungs out till every bit of frustration seeps out, drop by drop. Then there are days I want to just curl up in a corner (preferably in bed), cut off from the rest of the world…Just pretend I had no problems. That if I ignored them long enough, they’d go away.

But they don’t. Problems don’t disappear. You either fix them, or they take over your life. Or they pretend to disappear, only to resurface with a vengeance again, at another, more troubling time.

It is a horrid feeling, to have to deal with any of the bad stuff going on. It sucks even more not having someone to talk to about it. I have amazing friends, but then again, the person I am wouldn’t want to tell people of my problems. I’m the one that solves problems, not the one that has them! There are loads of people who feel the same way, I’m sure!

With all my talk of being wary about love, there is one thing I’ve realised. Whether it’s a friend, a lover or just someone who cares, it’s definitely nice to have someone in your life. Someone who is always willing to listen, but willing to have a conversation too. Someone to just give me a big hug and tell me ‘everything’s going to be okay’…Who won’t mind if I bawled like a baby because I knew it wasn’t going to be.

Just someone to be my wall for once, instead of the other way around.