Day 17 — Dear awesome new friends

Dear awesome new friends,

I was just going to say, you are out-of-this-world-amazing, and that is all. But decided not to be so off-handed about it, especially since you all know me as the one who can never stop at a few words :P

I’ve met almost all of you after making the move to a country that I knew nothing about. If you are still a part of my life, it is because you have enriched my experience of it in many ways. I need you to know that your presence is appreciated, and everyday, I learn so many new things thanks to you. About you, about myself, and about the world. I hope I add some value to your life too :)

I If we don’t talk enough, or seem to have fallen out, that sucks. But it’s the down side to changing personalities and, quite often, changing interests. I wish we weren’t drifting apart, and I wish things were different. Here’s hoping things will change!

Till we all make new memories again,

Me

<3

Day 16 — Dear ex-boyfriends ~ Yes, plural. Deal with it! :P

Dear ex-boyfriends,

I wasn’t sure how I felt about this letter when I saw the title, or even if I should be writing this in the first place. But, I figured I should. If I can’t, it’s only going to hold me back, and that is something I definitely do not want. I chose to put you guys in one letter because it just seemed apt and, also because, it isn’t fair to be only writing to one of you =)

K, you were the first boy I called my ‘boyfriend’. The first one I kissed, the first that took my breath away with said kisses. You taught me what it was to see past the things people hid behind, to discover the real gem of someone’s soul. We had our ups and downs, and though I admit some of it could have been handled with a little bit more dignity, we made it through it all. We didn’t realise the stress we were dealing with all around, and thought it was what came with the territory of being teenagers. Whatever we faced, we faced it strong. And I think our relationship started shaping the person I was to be.
When I look back on what we had, I still smile. Because we had a lot of memories back then. At the end of it all though, we were young, we were naive, and we were, quite possibly, in love. I say ‘quite possibly’ because I feel the idea of love entranced us a lot more back then, and I say this in the nicest way possible. I gave it my all, but my heart was still learning to deal with all the emotions thrown its way.
What makes me happy though, is to see how far you’ve come. How far we’ve both come, in fact. You’ve been there through some milestones in my life. And vice versa. And as I said to you before this year began, I’m thankful we’ve gotten back in touch with each other over the years. Feels good to know we’ve matured enough to be nice to each other. Thank you for being all you have.

E. Oh, what do I say to you? You started out as one of my amazing friends, and then became so much more. What I loved about our relationship was that, the most. The fact that, as friends, we could talk about anything under the sun. And then, as lovers, some more. You encouraged my strengths, which helped you develop yours too. We went through the changes of being 18+ years and in love. And having our hearts broken because of the way things ‘were supposed to be’. And rebuilt, and broken again.
I won’t rehash the past, because so many good things came from our relationship. Amazing friends, great memories, and inexplicable bonds. And in a strange way, if not for you, I don’t think I would have realised I was meant to fall in love with the city I live in. So I’m grateful for that.
What I regret is this past year taking a toll on our once-solid friendship. You said ‘things change, people change’. I tried so hard for that not to be true for us. But somewhere, I think we both sort of took a step back, and another, and another…until we were safely far enough to not be affected. And somewhere, I stopped trying. Not because I didn’t care, but because I was tired of being the one who had to try.
In saying that, I hope things start to look up, for you and maybe, for our friendship. I also hope that whatever it is that life throws your way, you handle well and come out stronger. You’re capable of it, of reaching out to your dreams. You just need to see it. I loved you, and I still hope for the friend I had before all this. I can only hope that friend is still there somewhere, not for my sake, but for the lives you will touch.

You’ve both been there at different points in my life, to teach me different lessons. To help me experience life through your eyes. To let me have people to call mine. Thank you for helping me grow. Thank you both, thank you for the memories.

Love,

Me

<3

Day 15 – Dear Mondays

Note: Halfway through the list, and aptly…on the day I write this it’s a Monday =)

Dear Mondays,

As I sat to write this, I realised that I’ve always had mixed feelings about you. And each time, it confused me, the way I felt.

If the build up to your arrival was good, I cursed you for even making an appearance, and hoped you would just leave me alone! I wasn’t happy with what we had going on, and I’m pretty sure I made it evident quite often that you gave me ‘the blues’.

And then, there are those times when all I can do is wait for you to show up. The time till you do is filled with such drudgery, that I don’t think I may even see you. All I want is you, and you do take your sweet time getting to me then, don’t you?

I have realised lately that I’d like to be more accepting about your presence in my life. After all, if not for you, I may not meet those responsible for my boundless joy ever. And even the woes would stay forever, rather than let us start anew. I’d like to feel good about you, even when the build up is amazing. So, this is a start.

I promise to be nicer from now on, Monday. You’re really not that bad, after all. Just kind of misunderstood. And I know how that feels, trust me =)

Love,

Me

<3

Day 14 – Dear person I miss (Munna)

Dear person I miss,

I had a few people that came to mind when I saw this. People who were back in my hometown were first, but then I realised, I still get to see them when I want to. If there was someone I missed, and couldn’t see anymore (and regretted that fact too), it would be you – Munna. Apart from my grandfathers, you are the one other person I feel the absence of in my life.

We had a rather limited amount of time to get to know each other, but we did. And from the first time we spoke, the both of us knew what a great friendship we had started. You taught me to go after my dreams, and kept me going when things got tough. Manchester United conversations between us were endless, and whenever there was a game I might have missed, or something I didn’t understand, you very passionately explained it to me. If I still love the team and the game, know it is because you guided me onto the path in the first place. You always had a happy outlook on so many things in life, and if I have that today, you were the one who inspired it. Thank you for always being so good to, and for, me.

When you told me about your cancer, all I could do was wish for the best. Any of the silly wishes I made – on an eyelash, on a star, on a clover – it was that you would get better. And everytime you went for chemo, told me you were getting better, I thanked my stars.

And then the day when I thought I’d write to you and see how were doing came. I thought I’d remind you your birthday was around the corner, and like every year I hadn’t forgotten (as you had predicted I would, silly man!). I open your profile and read an RIP post as I do. I was stunned and started scrolling down, and realised your wall was flooded with these messages. It hit me that something had finally taken you, had broken that happy demeanour. As I read I realised exactly a month before I came to write to you, you had passed. The cancer had finally caught up, and that was devastating.

But I also remembered how you said when I left Dubai that somehow, somewhere, you will be there to look out for me. And I believed that. Then and now. It’s been two years since you’ve left us, and everytime something grand happens in my life, it strikes me that you possibly had something to do with it.

The birthday of yours after you passed, I got my first big assignment at work. The next birthday, I got the new job at my uni, and a whole host of good things. And the most recent evidence, which I only just realised while writing this, was when my blog reached its major milestone. June 13th, 2013. 2 years after you passed.

All these may just be random things, or you may have something to do with it. Either way, I would love to believe you do. Just so I know, you’re there out there, watching over me and the countless other lives you’ve touched.

Thank you for being a part of my life. I miss you, Munna.

Love,

Me

<3

Day 13 — Dear future me

Note: I’m writing this to my 40 year old self, presuming that it’s a good time in the future to write to.

Dear future me,

I did mention you in my previous letter. But I shall, once again reiterate what I have to say. Just so we’re clear, you know?

I hope that as you read this, you have finished your ’30 before 30′ list, and have moved on to your ‘Things to do before I’m 40’ list. I hope that you have everything your heart has hoped for, because with every little hurdle you face along the way, you realise that you deserve it all. Because you have damn well earned it.

Let’s hope that all the things you believed in when you were young were worth believing in when you read this. That true friends will stick by you through it all. That love is hard, but it’s worth it. That family is important, but they don’t always know what’s good for you. That you are your own person, in charge of your own happiness, and that no one can take that from you.

I hope you have reached that point in life where you are happy with the person you are, inside and out. Where you are finally the best version of you that you believe you can possibly be. You have a beautiful soul (something too many people have already told you), and you should have let that beauty shine upon the world. They deserve it.

Lastly, I don’t know what direction your life has taken you professionally. But all I hope is that you still write. Either as a hobby or as part of your career, I hope you put your soul to paper as often as you can. Because I know this now, I knew it a while ago, and you will know it too – nothing helps you grow and soar to heights unknown with the joy that writing gives you.

I look forward to YOU.

Love,

Me

P.S. Never forget, nothing beats a good hug, or a bowl of ice cream with good music and a book =)

<3

Day 12 — Dear me who I wish I could be (Ideal/future me)

Dear Ideal Me,

You are, in all manners, me! You have the same big brown eyes, the dark flowing hair, the mischievous smile – all of it. You love to read, have a wide taste in music, and love the little things. You think hugs are the best therapy (barring ice cream, of course! Because let’s face it, nothing can beat the warm glow you feel with that cold spoon of deliciousness). You are a sappy romantic who tries to hide it and fails miserably :P

Basically, you are me – just a slightly different, and better (possibly?), version of me! Who I may, or may not become someday.

I have stuff that holds me back. That stops me from doing some things because I over-evaluate them. Not that I am always conscientious and ponder consequences before actions, but yes, I do.
You on the other hand, are possibly yolo (ugh, how I hate using that word!) personified. Of the school of thought that you have only one life, you do whatever it is that you want to do and deal with the consequences in time. If you do get into trouble, at least you had fun getting there right? One day, I shall get there. I may never say yolo, but I’ll try to live life that way.

I have always had body image and self-confidence issues. I’ve preferred being in the background, with friends and other people who (I believed) looked better than I did. Not realising it was the way they carried themselves that made the difference, till recently.
You, on the other hand, are self-confident. You are sexy. You are beautiful. You know you have your flaws, but you work with them – not against them. You accept yourself, and change what you can. But you are always the best version of YOU. I will definitely be you, someday!

You are living the life you wanted. On your terms, with no asterisk about conditions applying. You have the swagger to bring entire masses to their knees, and to look gorgeous doing it. You will get to your dreams, because when you know what you want – you will damn well get it.

Here’s to the person I hope to be. Here’s to the person I will be.

Love,

Me

<3

Day 11 — Dear younger version of me

Note: Of all the younger versions of me, I’ve decided to write to my 16 year old self. It always is a milestone year for most people, and that was no different for me.

Dear you,

You’re 16. And you’re becoming a delightful young woman. You’ve finally gotten over all those demons that have been holding you back since your childhood.

At 16, you’ve seen more than your fair share of turbulence in your life. But then again, even at this tender age, you’ve realised that your problems are not as big as you think. This too, shall pass – that is your new outlook on life. And one you should always hold on to.

People laugh at you when you say you are a romantic at heart. What could a 16 year old possibly know about love? Don’t listen to them. Age has nothing to do with what you feel about life and love. You could be 50 and not know what love really is. You have a wonderful heart, and don’t you ever forget that.

You have someone wonderful in your life right now, apart from your family and friends. He is helping you discover what your first brush with relationships feels like. The dizzy happiness, the troubled days occasionally, you’ll see it all. But there will be a point when, because of circumstances, he will have to leave you and walk away. Know it isn’t your fault. Know that it isn’t the end of the world either. There will be someone who brings as much, if not more, joy into your life in the future. Always remember, the only constant in life is change. You will be fine with just that piece of advice =)

You’ve been fighting with your body image issues since a long time. I don’t blame you, it’s the way the society (and sadly, even your family) talk about the way you ‘should’ look. I’m glad you’re trying to get over those that bring you down. Remember, in times when you’re in a dark abyss that seems never-ending…you are the master of your destiny. If you aren’t happy about something, take the steps you need to, to change it. And if you are, don’t listen to what the others have to say. They’re missing out on probably one of the best people in their lives!

Doing well in your exams one year, and going slightly downhill the next…It’s tough, isn’t it? Don’t fret. You can’t always be a genius (unless you’re Einstein or someone, but even they had their off days!). There are some things you can’t get. There are some things you will understand (in school and in life) as time passes. It’s not your grades that make who you are (especially since you are no longer going to be a vet!), it’s the way you take on the world that matters.

You’re going to have a wonderful journey, a part of which you already know in your heart. Listen to it always. And, hold your head high, smile…and face the day, and your life, the best way you can!

Love,

Me/You =)

<3