A Day for the Twitterpated

No, my title has nothing to do with Twitter, whatsoever. It is in reference to a scene from the popular Disney movie “Bambi”, in particular, this one:

Thumper: Why are they acting that way?
Friend Owl: Why, don’t you know? They’re twitterpated.
Flower, Bambi, Thumper: Twitterpated?
Friend Owl: Yes. Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example: You’re walking along, minding your own business. You’re looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face. Woo-woo! You begin to get weak in the knees. Your head’s in a whirl. And then you feel light as a feather, and before you know it, you’re walking on air. And then you know what? You’re knocked for a loop, and you completely lose your head!
Thumper: Gosh, that’s awful.

As the much hyped Valentine’s Day comes to an end, I put up this post. Just to say that Friend Owl was right about it all, right down to the losing of your head :) But I wish I had been around to tell Thumper that it is in no way awful. It is something wonderful, to feel this way, and I will always hold out the hope that I can, someday. As should you :)

Here’s to being Twitterpated!

<3

Twitterpated!

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Day 9 — Dear world

Note: I didn’t know what to write for a while, then I decided to wing it. I’m writing to the world as a person, as a whole, as an entity. Hope this makes sense!

Dear world,

I have experienced parts of you, for the past twenty-something years of my existence. I’ve seen wondrous things everywhere I’ve been, but…I want to see you, all of you, bared to your very soul. I want to know everything about you – your wondrous hidden beauty, your imperfectly perfect flaws, your  but more than the bad and ugly, I’d like to see the good. Not because I won’t love you still, but I’d probably learn to appreciate you a lot more then.

I want to know that there is a reason to believe in good things still existing in you, because only you can give me that. I try to see the good in every little thing, no matter how messed up. But, with everyday goings-on, I see a fading in that belief, because you only rear the unflattering side of yours. I believe you can be much better than this. Please, don’t prove me wrong.

I am, but a small part of you. I don’t have too many fancy things in and around my life to make me better than most. I work hard to prove myself, and I always will. I don’t see myself as above you, and I never will. I believe we share an existence so I can make a difference to the lives of other people you share an existence with.

That, is my purpose. That, is my wish.

Love,

Me

<3

Day 8 — Dear person I last kissed

Note: I had originally titled this a lot of different things. And then I realised, there’s so much I’d give away in the title, and I didn’t want to. So I changed it to it’s original title :)

Dear person I last kissed,

I’m going to start this by referring to my note above. That’s kind of how I feel about a kiss. There’s so much it can say, and so much that is left unsaid. All in the single moment (or several) of one kiss.

It was no different in our case either. We had a fiery chemistry growing, that built up to that crescendo of a moment that was a kiss. I felt I would probably melt with the warm glow that rose inside me when you kissed me. I had a knot in my stomach I hadn’t felt in a while, and it was a feeling I had forgotten, actually. A feeling that I loved recalling, to remember how wonderful it made me feel. I literally had no excuse to back away, and I kissed you back, because it felt like the most natural thing to do.

I knew I could have let myself want more in that moment. And who knows what might have been, if I hadn’t broken the magic that I believed surrounded us? But I did. And it wasn’t for anything else, but that the magic could’ve just been a figment of my imagination.

I want you to know, I don’t make it a habit of kissing people, especially people that mean a lot to me. But with you, there was no added drama; it felt right, then. Do I want to see if this goes somewhere? Why not :) Will I ask for it to…no. Because you, amongst other people, know that I have, and always will be, worried to ask :)

So, you kissed me. That hasn’t changed what we are to each other; how much we share; our bond. But you made me reconnect (albeit momentarily) with a world I’d forgotten about, and a small part of me probably resents that. Only because I liked it better when it was a distant memory, than a recent reality :)

Until we make more memories with our strengthening bond,

Much love,

Me

<3

Day 7 — Dear hopes and dreams

Dear hopes and dreams,

It feels good to have you out of the back corner of my brain and tangibly present everywhere. Most importantly, in my heart. I know I put you on the back burner for a while, when I began putting other people’s versions of you first. It wasn’t fair to you and I’m sorry.

But today, when I realise my 30 before 30 list has a focus on you, and that I think about you often enough, I feel better. To know that my hope of spreading the joy I get with my writing is slowly and surely coming true, to know that my dream for travel and wanderlust still survives all it’s faced, to know that my hope and dream for more love in this world was not foolishly misplaced…makes me feel wonderfully happy, and fills me with content.

When I look back, I realise I have always held out my candle to you to bring me back from the darkness that sometimes took over my life. When I felt that all was lost, it was your light that told me it wasn’t. When I almost gave up on the very things I believed in, you showed me exactly why I shouldn’t. For that, and for giving me a reason to hold on and move ahead, I am, and always will be, thankful.

There is just one more addition to the three of you that exist – my hope and dream to find a love that will love me back, with all my shortcomings…with all my flaws…and all my mistakes. Because they are what make me a human, and what make the person who I am, so real. Things that can be changed and need to be will be, but there is an essence to my soul that needs to be loved. As hard (or possibly impossible) as this is to find, there’s nothing like a little hope to keep you going, right?

This, I add to your family. This, I add to my life. This, I add to my hopes and dreams.

Love always,

Me

<3

Day 6 — Dear relatives/family I’m fond of

Note: I’ve had a lot of trouble dealing with my extended family in general. Each one increasingly gave me reasons not to like them. Whether it’s their constant interference in my life (or that of my immediate family’s), or it’s their irreversible need to show off about how and why they perceive their families to be better…it was all unnecessary growing up. And it made me loathe them, for a while in my life. Then I realised it wasn’t worth my time and energy. So, I just focused on the select few that brought happiness to me. This is for them.

Dear relatives/family I’m fond of,

When I started this letter, I actually realised that there were not many people I’d write this to.

To start with, my grandmom. Probably the MOST amazing lady I’ve been blessed with. She’s been such a wonderful light in my life, shining happiness whenever I am around her. She has stuff to talk to me about that are about world happenings, local news and gossip, or just plain family stuff. But at the same time, if I wanted to ramble on about something, I know she’ll always be willing to listen to me. She is probably one of the most forward thinking of a lot of people in her age group from our culture, and for that I will forever be grateful. For the little quirks that come with it all, I love you!

Next, some of my wonderful family (though distant) in the US. Each one of you – N, K, Shu and Chi – and your parents have just been absolutely amazing people, for whatever time we have gotten to spend with each other. I cherish the fact that I have such inspirational people in my life to look up to, and to stand together with. Thank you, and I love you, for being such delightful people!

Next up, S. We’ve weathered a lot of storms (so to speak) with our respective families. And with those that inevitably connect us. I know I probably haven’t done you the justice of being your cousin sis in the past couple of years, but every time I see you, I realise that I don’t need to worry. Any number of years from now if and when I see you, it’ll be like barely any time has passed.

And finally, saving the best for last. My almost namesake, NK. I cannot believe we haven’t bonded before this. I feel like we were meant to be sisters forever, not just cousins. You’ve been my most shining exception of ‘I don’t hang out with my family much’, because you brought out a side in me I hadn’t had before – for any family member. You taught me to laugh at silly things, to joke about the trivial and mundane stuff that could get us down, and to smile more. Discovering and rediscovering random TV series’ with you is one of the most fun things EVER. You, missy, were also the reason I could get the parents to get on board about the tattoos, so I will be forever thankful for that! I love how you have seamlessly become a part of my friends’ circle too. You should know it is completely because you have a stellar personality, and there is barely any reason for people not to delight in your company. If they do, they’re not worth it in the first place! I want you to know that you mean the world to me, and I’d go to the moon and back for you if you asked me to :)

I end this here with a parting thought. There are people I’m related to in my life that I love, and there are people I tolerate. I don’t hate or despise anyone, because no one has given me a reason to. I may not like some of them from time to time, but then again, you can”t always like everyone, right? I’m just glad I’m allowed to interact with who I want, when I want. And I’m glad that I choose  to be happy, irrespective of which of these people chooses to be part of my life (or doesn’t).

Love,

Me

<3

Day 5 — Dear friends that are like family

Note: I have some friends who have become like family. Thanks in major part to the fact that Mum is a teacher, and these are mostly men who were her students at some point. And one who wasn’t. All, truly wonderful men.Dear friends that are like family,Where do I even begin this letter? Each of you has played such a wonderful role in my life; I don’t think my story would ever be complete if you hadn’t.

To start with, RD. You were there for me at a time when I felt there was no where to turn. Facing what I did with my family, and sometimes friends, in those high school years…You were someone who gave me the advice, the push to carry on. You showed me that no matter what life threw at me, I was strong enough to deal with it. And if I wasn’t, you were always there, waiting till I got back on my feet…letting me know in your own way that life was going to be okay. And you probably made the most difference in my life by stepping in, during those years when I was missing the comfort, guidance and solace of a brother. By being the brother I couldn’t have at that time. Only because the one I had and I couldn’t figure out that bond for the longest time. You’ve changed my life for the better, and even if we barely talk as much as we used to, if ever, know that the place you hold in my heart is very special, and always will be.

Coming to the six wonderful people who became a part of my life thanks to Mum – Sha, Sho, Re, Ka, Wa and Vi (Sorry men, it was easier this way :P ). All of you have been absolutely wonderful for my mum. Being there when she needed someone to pour her heart out too – because we all know she did. I was still finding my way in life till I became that person for her as well. But, I think each of you gave her heart an incredible amount of solace through the pain she felt. Perspective to all the problems and situations she put forward. And a warm hug when there was nothing left to say. For that, I’m forever thankful to each of you. If not for you all, I may not have had the strength to the bond that I share with her today.
Sha, you’ve always been the one to make Mum feel at ease. And with me, you have been the one to give me straight up what you think. You’ve been rather open about all that goes through your mind. I wish we’d talk more, I wish we’d lived more memories together. But, for all that we have, and all that we will, know I’ll always love you habibi :)
Sho and Re…You guys became a major part of my life in the past couple of years, more than ever. You were always there in our lives, but I felt your presence when we connected over time. Having you both in the same country as me gave me a sense of peace. To know that if I wanted to hear a friendly voice or feel love and warmth without judgement or reason, I could just come see you guys. Even though we don’t have that now, I’ve made some stellar memories with you both. Sho, in particular, you have always made me realise what joy I bring into your life. You don’t know what an amazing feeling it is, to be able to feel that. And some of the things you say, have always made my heart glow. Thank you, for being a sounding board for Mum and me, and for all the wonderful things you say and do for us. Re, you have been one of those people that has brought a lot of sunshine in my life. We don’t talk much – more your fault than mine :P – but when we do, I’ve made awesome memories :) All I ask is you keep in touch more. But even if you don’t, I won’t hold it against you! I love both of you very much, to the moon and back even!
Ka, you’re pretty much in the same boat as Re with the keeping in touch part. But as I said, I won’t hold it against you. Well, maybe a little bit, but only because I could have seen so much more of you when we were in the same city. You have always been someone I could have a conversation with endlessly, and it didn’t have to be about something in particular. It just gave me pure joy. I love you to bits mister, and always will.
Wa. You bring that happy energy to us at home. You have been wonderful with my friends circle, and to Mum, and to anyone who knows you in general. Take care of your heart, and know that I’ll always be there to look out for you. Much love!
Last, but not the least, Vi. You may not have been around much, but when I talk to you, I feel like a little child all over again. Not in the sense that you belittle me, but that you encourage me to see the joy that life has to offer! You’ve lost that in your life a bit recently I feel, and I honestly hope you get it back. Love you beby ;)

All of you are deserving of my love and there is not one moment I would take back that we have shared. I’d not change anything either, except maybe that I hear more from most of you.

Know I am here when you need me. It is a promise I intend to keep. And know, that promise is not an empty one.

Love,

Me

<3